


A Kirkwall Love Story

by SisterStrange



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Cheesy, F/M, Love, M/M, Sibling Rivalry, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 02:53:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10912836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterStrange/pseuds/SisterStrange
Summary: So many memories from a life together, a life ended too soon.Fenris mourns his Samael Hawke, he finds himself back where it all began, Kirkwall, the place they had both called home. Instead of coming to an empty mansion, he finds Carver Hawke, the spitting image of his older brother.Can the younger Hawke become the puzzle piece Fenris has been missing since Samael passed away?Can Carver come out from under his famous brothers' shadow.Can these two find love in a otherwise hard and loveless town?





	A Kirkwall Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> This is far from finished, I want to write more, but for now this poor thing lies dormant in the format it is in right now.  
> And I wasn't sure about one of the pairings but hey, I went there :P
> 
> And yes, since I have never posted any of my fanfic I would love some pointers, both good and bad. I can't do better if I don't get any feedback so please, feel free to help a lost writer out <3

 

**~The Past~**

 

A soft rain fell down covering the sleeping city in a watery mist. The faint light from a fluttering candle was casting shadows down the narrow passage leading to the back of the mansion.  
Inside the candlelit room a fire was burning in the fireplace, it had almost burned through the last log but it did it utmost to stay alive.  
The room was filled with the smell of herbs and roses. In the middle of the room in front of the fireplace lay two men together on a bear hide.  
The light from the fading fire danced over their naked skin.  
“- I have waited for this moment for so long now, if you only knew how my body has ached to feel your touch.” Samael paused and drew his fingers across Fenris' chest which was covered in markings slightly glowing of silver and blue.  
“-I...I love you Fenris, I know this scares you, but I can't keep this to myself any more, I need you to know how I feel in my heart.”  
Fenris looked at him with his big green eyes, a faint smile appeared on his lips. “- Somehow I knew, I just had a hard time understanding why someone like you would love someone like me. With my background, I'm an elf, a former slave, I have...done things I'm not proud of in hindsight, you know this. But to hear you say these three words puts an end to all confusion. I love you Samael, the day I met you my life changed for the better.”  
Samael looked into his eyes, it was too much for him to take, he had to kiss him.  
He pressed him down on the hide and just looked at him for a while. “-For me you are pure perfection, never doubt my love or my desire for you, I'll take you just as you are, markings and all.”  
Fenris broke free from Samaels grip and wrestled him down and laid on top of him, he kissed him passionately. Samael moaned loudly and as the last flame of the fire died out the two men where so entangled one would not know where one started or the other began.

†

 

**~ The Present ~**

Fenris was sitting by the stream watching a fish struggle to find its way upstream. He smiled to himself, he knew that feeling all too well, struggling against all odds, trying to find your way home.  
It had been nine years since that night, he still remembered it with a warm heart.  
Samael had been the love of his life, the one that showed him that there was more to this wretched world than hatred and darkness.  
He still could hear Samaels voice echo in his mind, his words of love which had made him believe in a future.  
Fenris' expression changed, he suddenly remembered the pain, the pain of losing his love to something so trivial as illness. An infected wound from battle had slowly claimed his Samaels' life. Why did something like that take him Fenris often wondered. Illness was beyond his grasp, he couldn't protect Samael from those kind of dangers.  
“- Damn you Samael, why did you go where I couldn't follow, I...I miss you.”  
He rose and looked at the horizon, the sun was setting behind the treetops. He had a long journey ahead of him he might as well start walking before darkness covered the land.  
Fenris took his sword and started walking along the wide path towards Kirkwall, he had often walked this path together with Samael back in the days. But this was the first time on his own, it felt strange, he struggled not to cry, he felt his eyes sting.  
He had never been able to show feelings openly before, he still wasn't sure he liked it. But at least this beat that constant anger brewing inside.  
“ The dwarf would never let me hear the end of it if he saw me like this.” He silently muttered to himself as he quickened his pace.

†

Darkness had fallen over Kirkwall when Fenris found himself standing at the doorstep of the estate he and Samael once called home. Fenris glanced at the shields with the Hawke family crest mounted by the entrance.  
He took a deep breath and opened the door. The smell of roses hit him like a wall and memories started to play inside his mind. For a short moment Fenris lost his balance and staggered towards a bench and sat down. He hid his face in his hands, tears running down between his fingers.  
A hand on his shoulder made Fenris look up. Carvers face stared back at him, his eyes reminding him eerily of Samaels.  
“-I thought it might be you at this time of night, come, sit by the fire for a while.”  
Fenris tried to rise but his legs wouldn't bear him and he fell forward. Carver reached out his arms and caught him mid fall.  
Fenris could feel his strong arms giving him support and he once again felt that familiar sensation. The younger Hawke brother had turned into a handsome man, his face was truly the same as or at least bore great resemblance with Samaels. Fenris felt like running out the door again, maybe this was a bad idea returning after all this time. But his legs had given up, Fenris wasn't going anywhere right now.  
Carver helped him into the large reception hall and guided him to a chair by the warm fire. “-Here,I think you could use this.” Carver handed him a glass of wine, Fenris nodded and swept the whole glass of the sweet tasting brew.  
“-Thank you, I'm sorry for coming this late but I had nowhere else to stay for the night. I started wandering around town and well...found myself outside the estate.” Carver poured some more wine into Fenris glass then he poured himself some and sat down in the chair beside Fenris.  
“-I know this must be hard for you returning here. I sometimes find it hard staying with everyone gone, mother, Bethany...Samael.”  
He stared into his glass and Fenris could see true sadness in Carvers eyes.  
“-Still no word from the others I take it?” Carver shook his head as he swept his glass of wine. “- Varric I see sometimes, but it has been less these past months. Last I heard from Aveline, she and Donnic was to have their first child, that must have been little over a year ago now.”  
Fenris drank his wine in silence while thinking of times when they all had been fighting together for what had seemed right.  
Samael had brought them all together, this odd bunch of individuals. Samael had been the glue to hold them all together. And now with him gone they were all scattered with the wind.  
For the moment peace ruled in Kirkwall, the power struggle between the templars and the mages had died down after the circles fell and the templars began to rise against their own. People had had enough of the fighting and for the moment everything seemed calm enough in the city. Fenris smiled as he thought of it all “-If you only could see it” Carver looked at him with his eyebrow raised making him resemble Samael even more. Fenris realised that he had been thinking out loud. “-Oh forgive me, I was just remembering events from the past.”  
“-Ah you mean the good old days when all of us were gathered, the world were crumbling before our eyes and the promise of sudden death lingered in the air?” Carver sighed deeply before he continued. “-Yes, those were days I truly treasure” Fenris nodded and looked dreamingly into the fire.  
“-So do I, I truly do”.

†

Fenris woke up by a familiar feeling against his hand, the mabari who had accompanied the Hawke family from Lothering sat at his feet and pressed his big head at Fenris' hand. Fenris smiled and scratched him behind the ear, the mabari looked at him with big black eyes and for some reason Fenris felt that the dog understood his pain. “-You miss him too boy don't you?” The mabari gave of a sigh and laid down at the floor next to Fenris.  
“-Of course you do.”  
He looked around the room, Carver was nowhere to be seen, he had probably gone off to bed. Fenris smiled softly at the thought of Carver. “He probably didn't dare to wake me up, I must have seemed like quite the wreck last night.”  
He slowly rose from the chair and walked towards the stairs leading to the second floor. For a short moment he hesitated, then he ran up the stairs but just outside the door leading to Samaels and his bedroom he lingered for a while. Fenris started to feel his emotions rush through him again and tears were slowly running down his face. He grabbed the handle and closed his eyes as the door slowly opened.  
The smell of roses and fresh herbs still lingered in the room after all these years. The bed stood where it always had been, it even had the same linens as they once had slept in. Fenris looked around the room trying to find something if only just a fragment of Samael left behind. But he couldn't find anything that gave him the comfort he so desperately sought. An enormous feeling of loss and grief washed over him, he fell sobbing down on his knees in front of the huge four poster bed. The pain Fenris felt was unbearable it felt like his heart was ripped in two.  
Just as he thought that this was the end of him, that the feelings would eat him up from the inside right there on the cold floor, a pair of strong arms held him in a tight grip. Fenris found himself sobbing into Carvers chest, the sound of his heartbeats calmed him down. Carver didn't say a word he just held Fenris in his arms. If there was one thing he could do for Fenris it was this. Just holding him close, letting him feel safe for a while.  
Fenris looked up from Carvers chest and stared into those big grey eyes so much resembling Samaels. He felt this urge to kiss him, his heart began pounding faster and before Carver had the chance to protest Fenris kissed him deeply.  
Carver found himself swept away by the moment and didn't resist. This was a feeling he had never experienced before, this was all new to him, but his whole body screamed out a longing to feel Fenris' touch.  
Fenris paused and looked up at Carver as to get his approval to remove his clothes. Carver still didn't protest, he rose and took his clothes off. Fenris looked at this man several years younger than him, he was truly beautiful in every way a man can be beautiful. Fenris also got up and slowly removed the clothes he had been wearing. The markings on Fenris' skin covered almost every part of him, they almost had a silver glow Carver thought as he stepped towards Fenris who looked at him with feverish eyes. That lustful urge once again rose in Carver, he pulled Fenris closer and kissed him violently. They stumbled backwards towards the bed and fell down on the soft covers. Fenris still felt tears running down his face, though this time he didn't quite know what kind of tears these were, he just knew that this was something he had to do and in his mind Fenris screamed out Samaels' name begging him for forgiveness. Carver noticed the tears running down Fenris' face, he leaned over him and kissed his tears away. When he licked his lips he could taste the salty tears. “- I want to kiss the pain away, each tear you shed, each scar from battle, one by one until your body is mended. That is if you'll let me?” Fenris looked at his sad yet honest face, he truly was a Hawke and he truly meant each word he said, Fenris felt his body pulsating with lust and wanting. He stroke Carvers cheek with his hand and let his fingers wander towards his chest. Carver moaned when Fenris touched him, it was like a chockwave of heat swirling inside of him, his heart raced like a stampede of wild deer fleeing from the blade.  
He couldn't hold back any more, this urge was too strong. Carver pressed Fenris down on the bed and kissed him with fiery passion. He forcefully made Fenris lay on his stomach, Carver saw some scars on his shoulder blades and kissed them gently, Fenris gave out a moan.  
As Carver entered Fenris he felt this overwhelming feeling of love rising in his body. He wanted to stay like this forever. He thrust carefully afraid of hurting Fenris. But Fenris just turned his head and looked at him. Something in Fenris' eyes said yes, Carver bent down and kissed him gently.  
“- I wish this moment never comes to an end, I wish I could be with you like this for a lifetime. I wish...I wish to make your heart smile once more.”  
Fenris closed his eyes and squeezed Carvers hand tightly which Carver took as an act of approval. Fenris stifled his moans by biting the pillow as Carver thrust harder. The adrenaline pumping through Carvers body as he reached climax gave him the sensation of weightlessness, he imagined that this must be what it felt like to fly.  
Carver collapsed on top of Fenris' trembling body, his heart was beating so hard that he was sure Fenris could feel it against his back. He rolled over and laid beside Fenris, for a moment they lay quiet with just the sounds from the busy alley finding its way through the window.

The midday sun rose over Kirkwall, there was movement inside of the estate. Carver knew it was probably Orana the elven girl servant who was making her daily chores. He turned his head towards Fenris, he found himself staring into a pair of green eyes. Fenris looked at him and a faint smile appeared on his lips. “- That was certainly something.” Carver smiled and stroke Fenris' cheek. “It sure was, I...I have never felt anything quite like that before, I must say that it was well worth the wait”.  
Fenris stared at him “Wait, you mean you have never...?” Carver shook his head. Fenris got a big smile on his lips, Carver had never seen this side to Fenris before, it made him truly happy to see this beautiful man smiling at him.  
Fenris took Carvers hand in his and kissed it tenderly.  
“You just gave me the most beautiful gift a person have to give Carver, for that I thank you with all my heart, I shall treasure it lovingly.”  
Carver looked slightly embarrassed as he try not to meet Fenris' gaze. “So you don't think it's a bit odd that a grown man never have shared bed with another?” Fenris had actually been a bit surprised to learn that Carver hadn't slept with anyone before now, Carver seemed the type of man who would have suitors behind his door every night. “I must admit, I'm a bit intrigued about the reason why, but I'm not bothered by the fact, I'm mostly honoured that you chose me to give your gift to.” Carver smiled towards him and stroke Fenris' cheek softly. “I have always been awkward when it comes to intimate relationships, so I have avoided it for as long as possible, but this time it was different. You...you made me feel something for the first time in my life.” Fenris leaned towards Carver and kissed him softly. “You, you made me feel something too, something I thought I'd never feel again. I'm just hoping that this will last a while longer.” Fenris closed his eyes and laid pressed against Carvers chest. The beating of Carvers heart still made Fenris feel safe, at home in a way. After laying for a while in silence just listening to each other breathing, they fell asleep.  
Outside Kirkwall was in full activity completely unaware about the lovers sleeping softly in each others arms.

†

Carver opened his eyes and found himself alone in the big bed. Fenris was sitting at the window looking like he was miles away. Carver remembered what had taken place some hours ago between them, he felt guilty, in some way it felt like he had taken advantage of Fenris when he was already weak and hurting. But he also felt like he had betrayed his brother, but he couldn't help it, Fenris had awoken something inside of him that he was not willing to let go that easily.  
Carver got up from bed and put on his pants and slowly walked towards Fenris. “- How are you feeling?” Fenris looked like he was awaken from deep slumber and looked at him with surprised eyes.  
“- Oh, I'm..I'm fine...I think.” Fenris thought of the passion they both had shared and felt his face turn warm. “ - How are you holding up?”  
Carver bit his lower lip and nodded at him “-Yeah I'm fine, I...I hope I didn't hurt you.”  
Fenris rose and stepped closer to Carver, he looked at him and realised that this man standing in front of him cared deeply for him, Fenris' whole body felt warmer and his heartbeats changed pace once more. “- No you didn't hurt me, quite the opposite, you made me feel safe, loved...you cared for me Carver, for that I thank you.” Carver put his arms around Fenris and held him tight. “- I'll keep on doing that until you ask me not to, I'm there when you need me.” Fenris put his arms around Carver and pressed himself against his warm body. “- I do need you Carver, please don't leave me just yet.”  
Carver held Fenris even tighter and kissed him lovingly on his forehead.  
“- I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.”

†

A few days passed, and both Carver and Fenris enjoyed the company of each other, they talked about past adventures and also dreams about the future. The only thing that never once came up was Samael. Fenris didn't yet have the strength to talk about him. And Carver still felt this feeling of guilt hanging over him like a dark cloud.  
Kirkwall had not quite forgotten the Champion, so whenever they went outside they got looks and they heard whispers from the shadows. Carver felt like he would never be able to step out of Samaels large shadow. Samael had done so much for this city during the years he lived here. Carver himself had also been a part of many of their adventures and battles. Though it was thanks to Samael they all were alive, and that annoyed him greatly. He would always be “Samaels little brother”, nothing more. Carver had loved his older brother, he still loved Samael and missed him a lot. But to always be compared even when Samael was dead, that felt so hurtful and Carver often found himself in arguments about his brother with anyone willing to argue. He had been thrown out from the Hanged Man more than once because of his violent manners.  
Fenris hadn't experienced this side to Carver, though he knew that Carver had always been angry about being in Samaels shadow.  
So when Fenris got news about Carver sitting in the brig at the town guards he was a bit surprised but still he knew the reason behind all this.  
“So, what did they say this time?” Carver looked up from the floor where he sat with his knees pulled up towards his chest. “Fenris? Who told you I was here?” Fenris smiled and knelt down on the other side of the iron bars. “I have my ways of keeping my eye on you.” Carver felt ashamed, he never wanted Fenris to know about his anger and jealousy he harboured inside. “You shouldn't have come, I made a mistake and well now I'm paying for it.” Fenris got a serious look on his face. “Very well, I will leave you to your thoughts then, but know this. When I made love to you, it wasn't Samaels face I saw in my heart, it was yours.”  
Fenris got up up and walked away leaving Carver with a foolish look on his face. He felt so stupid, selfish even.

†

Fenris sat at a table in a dark corner of The Hanged Man, he stared into nothingness while gulping down a whole bottle of wine. “An elf drowning his sorrows is always a sad sight even here in the Hanged Man.” Fenris looked up only to meet Varrics smirking face. Fenris snorted and made a gesture with his hand as to invite Varric to sit down. Varric sat down across the table from him and Fenris felt him staring at him. “What?” Fenris put down the bottle which by now was empty. “Oh Fenris, you always was such a broody man, you still are, what is it that's eating you this time? Could it be the younger Hawke who is sitting at the brig as we speak?”  
Fenris stared at him and raised his eyebrow. “If you already knew, why ask?” Varric laughed his usual hearty laugh which somehow made his eyes glow like a cats. “Oh please I have known about that since you got back. You two really should learn how to shut doors behind you.”  
Fenris couldn't help himself from laughing. “Sorry about that. But wait, when did you stop by? Why didn't you leave a message with Orana?” Varric took a sip from the beer he just gotten from the barmaid Norah. “Well what can I say, you two looked...ehm well busy, so I thought I'd run into one of you sooner or later. And look, I was right.”  
Fenris ordered in one more bottle of wine and leaned back towards the wall behind him. “I, I really am sorry I just left when Samael...” He paused for a short moment. “I just, couldn't cope with it all back then, it was like the earth shattered beneath my feet. I had to get away from Kirkwall.” Varric got a glazed look in his eyes almost like he remembered something really painful. “I understood then why you left and I still do, I might not be good at all this emotional stuff, but I do miss the guy and I still think that the world is poorer without him.”  
Fenris nodded silently and drank some of his wine. “Carver is so much alike him that is sometimes scares me, sometimes I find myself wondering if I'm seeing ghosts. But Carver still suffers from being the younger brother of “The Champion of Kirkwall”, the anger and jealousy inside him gets tangled up with the sadness of losing Samael. It's all just a mess.” Varric smiled with his whole face “He's a Hawke, being a Hawke and having an internal mess sort of comes with the territory.” Fenris chuckled slightly and emptied his bottle. “Yes I guess you're right, I guess I should go get him before he ends up in another fight at the brig.” Fenris rose and started to walk towards the door, then he turned his head slightly towards Varric. “Say hi to Merrill when you get home!” Varric got a nervous look in his eye and his cheeks turned bright red. “Hey, not fair!”  
Fenris left the Hanged Man laughing at the look of the embarrassed dwarf.

†

Carver was sitting with his head leaned in his hands when he heard the guard opening the gate to his cell. “All right Hawke, you're free to go.”Carver left the cell and started to walk outside, it had become dark outside and the streets were almost empty of people. When he reached the bottom of the great stairs leading down from the keep he stopped and turned around. Fenris was standing leaning against one of the massive pillars surrounding the stairs. “So are you ready to go home now?” Fenris slowly walked up to him, Carver stood silent for a short second then he nodded. Fenris couldn't help thinking Carver looked like a little kid who's done something bad.  
They walked the short distance back home to the Hawke estate in silence. Orana greeted them both in the door as politely as ever. She was pleased to see Fenris again as she rarely ventured outside so to see another elf made her feel quite at home in a way.  
“Do you want some food Master Carver?” Carver nodded and continued walking up the stairs. Orana looked quite puzzled by this, she turned to Fenris who tried his best in telling her that dinner would be delayed this evening. Carver threw himself on the bed and buried his head in one of the pillows.  
“So do you want to talk about these feelings you're evidently keeping locked up inside, or do you simply want me to leave?” Carver sprung up from the bed and threw his arms around Fenris. Fenris was a bit surprised by this reaction. Carver looked him in the eye, Fenris could see tears building up in his eyes. “Please forgive me for my childish behaviour, I never meant for you to...to get hurt.” Fenris stroke Carvers hair and kissed him softly on the lips. “I forgive you Carver, but please I need you to trust me enough to be able to tell me your thoughts and feelings.” Carver wiped his eyes and hugged Fenris hard. “I promise, just don't...don't leave.”

 

 

**~ So much Love must be dangerous ~**  
  


 

Sometimes life takes the strangest paths, or well love in this case Varric thought to himself. He had never in his wildest imagination thought that he would once more find love.  
Varric was no stranger to love, he had been madly in love with a beautiful girl once before but that was a story that he never had or would tell anyone about. It was just too painful and a bit embarrassing to be honest.

“You look you're miles away lethallin.” Varric got startled and looked up only to see Merrills loving face stare back at him. “Oh well you know me, just thinking about the golden days.” Merrill sat down at Varrics lap and laid her arm around his neck. “Ah I see, the glory days with Hawke. You know it is ok to admit that you miss him, I do too.” Varrics sighed and tried to force a smile, but she had hit home, he truly did miss Hawke. He had never had a close friend before which he could count on like Hawke. He remembered that first day they had met, him and Hawke. Back then Samael had been a young man with eager eyes and lust for adventure.  
He could see that same look in Carvers eyes, and he knew perfectly well what Fenris had meant by seeing ghosts. The older Carver got the more he grew to look like Samael, he even had some of the same movements and gestures. But of course Carver would never be his older brother. Varric who also was a younger brother knew how it felt standing in the shadows, he just wished that Carver would find his own way in this life just like he himself had done many years ago.  
In some way he hoped that this thing Carver had with Fenris would make him grow up a little, make him embrace life a bit better. He sighed and stroke Merrill lovingly on the cheek. She giggled her usual way making him melt from the inside out. “Oh you, come here.” He pulled her closer and kissed her. “Oh my lethallin, I'm guessing dinner will have to wait then.” Her face was all flustered as she pulled him towards the bedroom. Varric got a big smirk on his lips “Daisy, dinner is overrated!”


End file.
